Addicted to you
by Pyrate Queen
Summary: You once said you'll do anything for the girl you love, do you love me?...... Van has been a drug addict for 6 years can he quit now for the one person he loves? Or will he lose her & his life in the end....
1. Chapter 1:White dust

❃Addicted to you❃

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowe or 12 stones I am just using their characters/ lyrics for my story. I do not own/ do the various drugs that will be appearing in this story. Thank You. 

A/N: This will now be a long story, I think between 10-15 chapters at the most or maybe 20. Please read and review I hope you all enjoy it thank you. 

  
  


Chapter 1: white dust

_Alone again, again alone  
Patiently waiting by the phone  
Hoping that you will call me home  
The pain inside my love denied  
Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride  
Everything I need it lies in you-Broken-12 stones-  
_

  


A boy with unruly black hair threw open the door to his room, stepped in and locked it. He threw his back pack in the corner of his room and than collapsed on the couch in his room. He lay their for a moment, than he stared at his back pack. He checked to see if the door was locked and than he grabbed his back pack and dragged it to the couch. He unzipped the front pocket and pulled out a zip lock bag with white powder in it that resembled sugar. He placed the zip lock bag on the coffee table and than unzipped another pocket on his bag and pulled out a straw. He stared at the bag, sighed, than opened it he took out some of the powder and placed in on the table in a straight line. He than took the straw placed it in his nose and than placed it in front of the line of powder. He inhaled deeply and than moved the straw along the line sniffing up the whole line of white powder. He dropped the straw and rubbed his temples and than wiped his nose.

"Damn." he muttered. 

He leaned back against the couch and sighed loudly, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway rang in his head.

"Fuck!" he yelled.

He stumbled getting up, he wiped the table and than put the zip lock bag and the straw in his back pack. He threw his backpack across the room and the collapsed on the couch, the quiet footsteps coming up the stairs rang in his head like a siren. The doorknob shook and it drove him crazy.

"Fuck off! Don't come in!" he yelled.

A light knock was issued on the door but to him the knock was a pound.

"Van?" a quiet voice asked.

A wave a relaxation washed over him and he sighed in a happy manner, and laughed.

"Merle, Merle." he mumbled.

He groggily stood up and made his way to the door, he fumbled with the lock laughing at himself. The doorknob turned and the door opened slowly.

"Van?" a sweet voice asked in a purring tone.

A young girl stepped into the room, she had light pink hair and tanned skin. She was wearing a spaghetti strapped pink dress.

"Van don't tell me you were..." Merle was cut off.

Van slammed his fist on the wall.

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do! I can fucking snort coke if I want!" Van's mood switched from calm to angry in a flash.

"Van just stop, you said." Merle started her lip began to tremble.

Van's mood switched again "It's hard...I try...I fuck you I'm not an addict I can quit anytime!"

"Than do it..." Merle said.

She opened the door and stopped,"Bye Van."

Merle closed the door softly behind her and Van listened her light footsteps echoed around the quiet house. Than stopped, she was gone.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Van sat in the boy's washroom, a needle in his hand he just finished injecting it.

"God." Van muttered.

He rubbed his temples and got up, he was dizzy and the bell for class rang an hour ago he was late. He pushed open the door to the boy's washroom and left in a drowsy state. He stumbled down the hall, he had to get to his car before someone seen him. He should have waited to do it, but he couldn't he needed to get high now. Van caught sight of his red convertible and walked toward it, his head began to clear up but he was still drowsy.

"I can't drive like this." Van said.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


A sandy haired girl stepped out of her blue Mazda, she locked the door and slung her back pack over her shoulders. She was late for school because of a doctor's appointment, she leaned down and checked her hair and than proceeded to the front doors. She heard a sound and turned around, she saw someone trudge to their car.

"That's Van from my tech class." she said.

Van leaned over and grabbed his stomach and let out a moan,"Oh fuck!" he yelled.

She quietly walked over to him, "Are you okay?" she asked.

Van laughed "Yea sure fine." he said.

She managed a smile and began to walk away, Van grabbed onto her arm lightly.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Hitomi." she said, he eyes trailed over him taking in his features.

He was handsome, unruly black hair, chocolate brown eyes, nice butt, great body. Hitomi's eyes trailed down to his arms, the scars of where countless needles had pierced were visible. A fresh one had blood trickling down his arm. Van noticed her staring at him, he followed her gaze.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing." Hitomi said she pulled her arm away from him.

"Bye Van." she said.

She walked away, Van leaned against his car and watched her.


	2. Chapter 2:I hate everything about you

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or Three days grace. I am just using their characters/lyrics for my story. Thank You.

A/N: sorry for the long wait I have been quite busy! Updates of my other stories will come soon. By the way this is going to be a short story about 10-15 chapters. Thanks to all who reviewed!

  
  
  


CHAPTER 2: I hate everything about you 

_Only when I stop to think about you I know. _

_Only when you start to think about me, do you know.  
I hate everything about, why do I, love you?  
You hate everything about me,_

_ why do you love me?-I hate everything about you-Three day's grace-_

  


Hitomi sat in tech class, she stared around the room taking in everything. The cheerleaders were doing their make up, passing notes and giggling. The goth's were reading books, and glaring at the cheerleaders. The nerd's were talking about chess club after school, and the jock's were talking about beating the nerd's up after school. Yep it was all the same every day for Hitomi nothing seemed to be different. Her day hadn't been that interesting apart from the fact of seeing that boy from her tech class high. That wasn't anything special, nothing was interesting about that she had seen guys high all the time, it was that look in his eyes that she remembered. He had the look of disappointment and anger and he looked tired. Oh so tired.

"He probably tried to kick it already." Hitomi thought.

And he has, he was a drug addict since the end of the 7th grade, he remembered the summer all to well it was his summer of fun and laughs but he made it up. It might have been fun then getting high but it wasn't cool anymore he tried to quit but he couldn't it called him back. Hitomi's thoughts were interrupted by a sigh from her teacher. It wasn't a sigh of annoyance but a sigh of disappointment. Hitomi followed her teacher's gaze, her own eyes landed on the pair of chocolate one's. There gazes locked he shot her a bored look and than he tore his gaze from her's and stared at there teacher.

"Van Fanel." the teacher said.

"Thanks for reminding me I forgot that was my name." he said sarcastically.

"Don't use that tone with me why are you late?" 

"Because I am what business is it to you?" Van spat.

All the students were paying attention now to the fight that was beginning to happen between adult and teenager.

"I am like your parent I must no where you are. School is your home away from home." the young women said. 

She was one of the only teacher's who cared deeply about her students. She wanted to help each and everyone of them with there problems.

"Neither home is that fucking great." Van said.

"Oh Van." she said defeated.

She wasn't one to give up on her students she believed in each of them but Van wore her down. He was sometimes a hopeless cause because he didn't want to cooperate she offered him help so many times but he wouldn't take it. Van was a brilliant student smart, smarter than anyone else in his classes but he didn't apply himself he let other aspects of his life take over. Everyone even the teachers knew Van did drugs excessively. Van's parents knew but it's not like they cared his mother was a recovering drug addict with a serious case of depression and his father was barely home to watch them. He worked late and when he did have time off he went off on a vacation with his wife trying to make her happy. They didn't have time for Van. "Just don't start with me today Julia I'm tired and irritated." Van said running a hand through his untamable hair.

"Van don't call me Julia." she said.

"Fine whatever." he said as he took a seat at the back of the room.

Class assumed normally for everyone else including there teacher but only one person couldn't concentrate on class. Hitomi flipped her sandy blonde hair over her shoulder and took a peak over at Van who was sitting at the back of the room slouched looking bored. He was half listening to the teacher and half sleeping. Hitomi looked behind her and wondered what he was thinking about, the look on his face showed he was irritated and somewhat tired.

"God I could use a drag." Van muttered.

His was getting annoyed with class, why did he come anyway the teacher wasn't teaching anything interesting.

Hitomi raised her hand, she caught Van's attention.

"The one from the parking lot." he recalled.

"Yes Hitomi?" the teacher asked.

"Can I go to the washroom?" she asked.

The teacher looked up at the clock "Okay but take your books class is going to be finished in about 5 minutes."

Hitomi nodded and gathered up her books she left the room with a bounce of her skirt. Van had been watching her the whole time, he also gathered up his books and shoved them in his bag he stood up and walked toward the door.

"Van?" his teacher asked.

"I'm outta here." he stated.

His teacher gave a loud sigh and turned back to the black board, Van opened the door and stepped out. He walked down the hall to his locker, deposited his stuff and than walked over to the washrooms. Hitomi walked out of the washroom, and saw Van walking toward her or maybe the washrooms. But nevertheless she stopped and her books dropped onto the ground, she bent down to gather them up and noticed her math book was gone. She stood up and in front of her was Van holding her math book, they were practically nose to nose.

"You dropped it." he said cooly.

"Thanks." she replied, she took it from his hands.

For once in Van's life something deep inside him stirred, Van pushed the unwanted emotion aside but it still crept around.

"Hi." he said stupidly.

Hitomi smiled at him even though he was a known drug addict he was quite handsome, no he was sexy, drop dead gorgeous. There eyes locked for the third time this day, or was it the forth but her eyes melted into the gorgeous chocolate of his. And something stirred, an emotion within Hitomi. Something she didn't think was going to happen with someone like Van. Hitomi tore her eyes away from Van.

"I gotta go." she said.

"Yea me to later." Van said.

Neither of them moved though, Van's spontaneous side kicked in and he pushed Hitomi gently into a locker and kissed her. There lips locked into a fiery kiss, tongue and everything. Hitomi's hands were in Van's hair, and Van had is hands running themselves up and down Hitomi's hips. Hitomi pushed Van from her, and they both stopped to breathe.

"Hi." he said smiling at her.

"Van sorry that wasn't suppose to happen." she said. 

She dipped under Van's arms and than grabbed her bag and walked away leaving Van stunned. Van watched her walk away, till she turned the corner.

"I'm so fucking stupid." he muttered, his fist slammed onto a locker. 

The contents of the locker spilled out, Van looked at them, "Shit." he said.

His gaze traveled over the stuff on the floor and he eyed the zip lock bag on the floor.

He grinned "Thanks Zack."

Van bent down, grabbed the zip lock bag and shoved it into his pocket and walked away whistling the tune to 'Hey big spender.'

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Van sat in his room and took out the fresh new bag of cocaine from his pocket he just found in Zack's locker. He took out the straw he always kept in his backpack and cleaned it with a Kleenex, he wiped the table down and than opened the zip lock bag. He carefully took some powder out of the bag and placed in on the table. He positioned the straw in front of the white powder, he pushed the straw gently into his nose and than breathed in fast. The powder flew into his nose engulfing his senses.

"It's the expensive stuff." he noted.

As the drug took affect quite quickly, Van looked up and the ceiling and sighed he was thinking about Hitomi but thoughts of her left his mind as the drug took over.

  


*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*

Hitomi put down the pen and looked out the window, she held her dairy against her chest and she just finished writing in it. Hitomi opened it and re-read the passage:

_ ~*~Van Fanle isn't your average boy and I always new that since grade 6 when I first met him, we were never close friends and we hardly talked. But nevertheless it scared me when he was in the parking lot doubled over in pain. Yet when I saw the mark on his arm from the needle I felt mad that I cared that he was in pain but it was his own fault. For taking the drugs, I always new he took drugs. I found out in grade seven when he was suspended for having Marijuana in his back pack. Yet I realized today how hot he had became over the years. Today of all days seeing him high, I realized he was so damn hot. My heart jumped yea I no it sounds a little corny but it did, I have to admit it now because I can't lie to myself. I like him, I like Van Fanle. He does drugs everything I always hated but I am in love with him. I guess it's true your mind and heart both have different opinions. He kissed me today in the hall and I ran I feel bad now. *sigh* But why Van? There are so many other better guys, why him? Why do I like him? It's true the song, it's so true. I hate everything about you, why do I love you?~*~_


	3. Chapter 3:I didn't know

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or Eminem. I am just using their characters/ lyrics for my own needs to help this story along. Thank you.

  


A/N: Sorry for not updating this story for such a long time! I've been busy with school and other stories! And I thank everyone who has reviewed. I shall eventually update all of my stories. And hopefully I'll update them all this week. And if not I'll update this week and next week. Thank you for your patience!

  
  
  
  
  


Chapter 3: I didn't know

_Cuz, I know you want me baby,_

_ I think I want you too._

_ I think I love you baby,_

_ I think I love you too._

_I'm here to save you girl_.-_Superman-Eminem_

Hitomi pushed the silver door open with a small bump of her hip. The familiar ding of the gold bells hanging on top of the door alerted the store owner of another customer. He looked up to Hitomi and gave her a smile.

"Hello Hitomi how can I help you?" he said.

"Hey Mr.Po! Did the shipment of Gundum Wing action figures come in?"

"Yes in aisle 6 of the toy department, for little Roshi I presume?"

Hitomi nodded smiling "Yea his birthday is coming up and I promised him I'd either get him Dragon Ball Z or Gundum Wing action figures."

"The shipment of Dragon Ball Z action figures isn't in."

"That's alright he likes Gundum Wing better." Hitomi said smiling.

"Yes, yes well their in aisle six. If you need further assistance someone should be down their."

"Thank you Mr.Po." Hitomi replied with a wave as she walked through the large store.

Her black heels clicked loudly on the ceramic floor as she looked through the shelves full of toys. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a black halter top, a jean jacket over it. Hitomi shook her head her sandy tresses falling in front of her eyes.

"Damn I can't find them." she said in defeat.

"Need any help?" a familiar voice asked.

Hitomi didn't need to look up to know who that voice belonged to. She ran a hand through her hair pushing it out of her face.

"I didn't know you worked here." she said, still not turning around.

"I need to get money somewhere and Po is a good guy. He pays me well. So can I help you?"

"No I can find things for myself, why don't you go shoot up or something."

He groaned loudly, "I'm not a drug addict."

"I'm not stupid, I know you are. Your high every day and you have a ton of scars from the hundreds of needle's you use!" Hitomi said harshly.

He stared dumbly at her not able to say anything. Hitomi grabbed his arm and turned it over showing him the scars.

"Their they are...you can't hide your past."

He let her hold onto his arm and watched as her fingers ran themselves slowly and gently on the scarred flesh of his arm. She looked up to him as he grabbed her hand and held it. With a small tug he pulled her toward's him. They were face to face, Van could feel Hitomi's breathing on his neck. He was a head taller then her and he put his chin on her head as if to hold her in his place. His arms encircled her waist, but her's lay limp at her side. Aching to hold him but she kept them at her side.

"Van I have to go." she said pulling herself away from him.

"Hitomi wait."

"I have to go." she said walking away leaving Van alone.

The click of Hitomi's shoes echoed around the store as Van listened to her leave, the shoes abruptly stopped as she reached the exit of the store.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Mr. Po asked her.

"I'll come back for it some other time." Hitomi stated.

The ding of the bell's told Van she had left he sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair. His gaze was drawn down to his arm and he ran his own fingers across the scars, Hitomi's touch had left a pleasant warmth behind but it was slowly disappearing.

"Damn her." he said loudly, he dropped his arm to his side and walked out of the toy department slowly.

_You know you want me baby,_

_ you know I want you too._

_They call me superman,_

_ I'm here to rescue you._

_I want to save you girl-Superman-Eminem_


	4. Chapter 4: First step to nothing

_A/N: Wow I haven't updated any stories in such a long time..I feel really bad...not just because of everyone looking forward to another chap of my stories but for myself. I've been neglecting what I like to do and that is write! God I have to stop doing that...but I've been having exams and stuff so can you blame a girl? Well here is another chappie of Addicted to you and I'm happy about all the reviews! Keep em coming it makes me happy that my work is well liked and appreciated! I will update all my other stories soon so keep checking back or put me on story alert..or whatever it's called lol! Thanks for your patience! Love, Fallen Angel_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the song Bleed it's belongs to the group/singer Jack Frost_

Chapter 4-First step to nothing

_"Out in the cold   
paralyzed mind   
visions of moving   
hunger for more   
~~  
born into silence   
caught in the past..."-Bleed-Jack Frost_

Van sat on a large stone balcony over looking the quiet streets of Gaia, the moon was full and bright and gave him the light he needed. He swung his legs back and forth as he looked down into the streets, a sigh escaped his lips. He ran a hand through his hair knocking the joint from his ear into his lap. He stared at it for a moment and then flicked it off his lap, it fell off the belcony into the streets below. Even before it hit the ground Van regretted what he done and he groaned loudly, but he forced himself to sit there and not get up to get another one.

"Some bastards gonna be pretty happy when he get's hit in the head with a joint." Van thought darkly.__

_ *~*~*~*~*~*  
_

Hitomi sighed as she walked down the street toward her house in her arms was a stack of books from the library she had just visited. She had put off doing her geography project for two weeks and now it was due Tuesday, which means she only had two days left to finish it. She stopped a minute and shifted the books in her arms and then something hit her in the head. She looked down and saw the joint cracked open on the floor. She then gazed upward at the legs swinging back and forth on the balcony. 

"Hey jackass why don't you smoke the joint instead of throwing it at people? Or are you to high to notice it's not in your mouth anymore?" Hitomi shouted up at the swinging legs.

She grumbled loudly and continued to walk, she looked over her shoulder at the swinging legs. Now she was able to see the person the legs belonged to. A shocked expression appeared on her face and then a look of anger. She backtracked a bit and picked up the broken joint. She looked at the balcony again and walked over to the house the balcony was on top of. Without bothering to knock she opened the door which was unlocked. She wasn't the least bit surprised that it was unlocked. Hitomi climbed up the stairs as fast as she could holding the books in one arm and the joint in her other hand. She took a wild guess that his room was the one with the door shut and the random graffiti all over the black door. She sighed loudly before she knocked on the door, he didn't answer. She knocked again and this time kicked the door hard. She heard rustling and waited some what impatiently for him to open the door. Hitomi remained composed and calm as she opened the bedroom door and ignored the flutter in chest when she laid eyes on him. His hair was messier then usual with a more of a just woke up look and it screamed run your hands through it. He was wearing a pair of cotton beige pants and he was topless his well toned muscles rippled as he stretched. He lowered his arms quickly and stared wide eyed realizing who was standing in his doorway. She realized why she came here in the first place and glared at him, she shifted the books again and then threw the joint at him. It hit him square in the chest and fell to the floor breaking apart. He looked down to the joint and then to her and sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Van your pathetic you say your not addicted? I seen you yesterday and you can't go one day without having one? I wonder how much you have in your room?"

Van stood dumbfounded everything he wanted to say was jumbled up into a mass of mixed up letters in his mind, he just stared at her.

"Nothing to say? Nothing to say? Good because you know I am right there is no way you can kick drugs if you can't admit you're a junkie! Whatever Van you can scrap the pot off the floor and smoke it for all I care I'm not wasting another minute on you!" 

Van snapped out of it when she began to walk away he reached out and grabbed her arm pulling her towards him. The books dropped from her hands landing with a loud bang onto the floor. The spine on one of the books broke, and Hitomi glared at Van.

"Let go of me!" she said in an angry tone.

Van held onto her arm staring at her intently, "Hitomi..."

"Van let go of me now!" she yelled.

Van pulled her arm and pulled her towards him, she landed against his chest and he put his arms around her.

"Van let go.." she whispered, her heartbeat picking up.

He leaned down his black tresses falling in front of his eyes shielding them from Hitomi's piercing look. Hitomi looked to him his eyes were blocked by his hair and she couldn't send him the warning looked she wanted to. She closed her own eyes and felt his breath on her, his lips pressed lightly against her's. His hand pressed to the small of her back pulling her close, she didn't kiss him back. Her body was screaming yes but her mind was telling her no, it was like the cliche scenario of a devil and an angel sitting on your shoulders. Van pulled back and looked to her a calm look on his face maybe it was almost pleading. Hitomi looked away from him and shook her head.

"Van I can't..."

He cupped her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him, "Hitomi it's not my fault.."

She pulled away from his hand and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Yes it is."

She looked up to him and raised her hand brushing the hair away from his eyes, his chocolate eyes stared at her sadly like a child that wanted something so bad. She ran her hand down the left side of his face cupping his cheek, her finger brushing against his neck. She leaned toward him and whispered into his ear, his eyes went wide and then clouded as a sigh escaped his lips.

"People say that they would do anything for the person they love." she whispered and then walked away from him, leaving him standing alone once more. Contemplating what he could have had if he just kicked the drugs.....

_A/N: what is Hitomi getting at with that saying? Will Van take that in to any consideration? Tune in for another drug filled chapter of Addicted to you! Okay I'm joking bout the last part, drugs are a serious thing and no one should abuse them because it could lead to serious harm. So if you addicted get help it's the best thing! Don't be like Van who's losing everything just because of drugs!_


	5. Chaoter 5: I just knew

A/N: Ohh jeez I haven't updated any of more stories in like forever...school is out now so I promise I will update them a little more regularly! I promise people! Well another short chapter and I apologize guys! I just wanted to update a quick one just to show you I'm still alive and kicking. So enjoy this next chapter of Addicted to you. Also I like to point out I might do a prologue to this story. You know to explain how Van got into drugs and stuff. Hitomi will be in it, but there isn't going to be any love interaction with them. If you can remember from previous chapter I belive I mentioned that Van didn't pay much attention to Hitomi back in the day. But anyways what would you guys think of Van's past? It's all up to you guys if I write it.

**Chapter 5- I just knew**

_**"She supplies me  
Whenever ever I'm in need  
Still a thief  
From the day she stole my heart now"-Moffats-Bang Bang Boom-**_

_ Van sat on a large stone balcony a cigarette tucked behind his ear. He swung his legs back and forth in a child like manner. A small grin on his face as he stared at the beautiful girl sitting beside him. She smiled back to him and took his hand in her own holding it tightly._

_ "Don't you wish it could be like this?" she asked._

_Van looked at her the grin on his face replaced with a puzzled look. The wind picked up and tossed his hair about. Her green eyes before staring intently at him were now shielded by tresses of her sandy blonde hair._

_ "What do you mean?" he asked._

_ "Don't you wish you had this?"_

_ He stared at her again, "Had what?"  
Hitomi looked at him her warm smile fading into sadness,"This..." she said and raised there hands that were locked in each others hold._

_ Van stared at their hands and frowned, "This isn't real?"_

_ Hitomi's smile was gone replaced by her saddened look, "It could be..but it will never be."_

_ "Your not making sense." he said angrily._

_Hitomi gently slid her hand from his grasp and stared at him. Even from behind her hair Van felt her green orbs boring into his brown-red ones._

_ "People say that would do anything for the person they love." she whispered as leaned backwards. Her back meeting air she began to fall._

_Van turned and reached out to her, "Hitomi!" he screamed._

Van slumped against the seat of the toilet his head rolling along his shoulder blade slamming into the washroom stall. He opened his eyes slowly seeing the angry green of the washroom stall and jumped. The needle in his lap fell to the floor and rolled toward the sinks.

"Dammit.." he mumbled as he rubbed his hand against his forehead.

The dream replayed itself into his head and he looked down to his hand and clenched it into a fist.

"I can't even get her out of my fucking dreams...she haunts me...teases me," he mumbled as he slowly rose from his spot, "Always...teases me..."

He began to mumble incoherently most of what he was saying wasn't even making sense. He began to move his hands in flamboyant gestures, much like the hand gestures of popular movie character Captain Jack Sparrow. Hell he even swayed in a drunken like manner similar to Jack. But Van was far from drunk. He staggered over the sink and clumsily bent down to retrieve the needle from the floor. He rose slowly using the sink as a support. Once he was up he looked into the mirror and I sigh escaped his lips. His sanity slowly returned to him as the drug wore off. He stood there for some time looking into the mirror thinking..and staring. The door to the washroom opened slowly and a head of pink hair peered in.

"Van?" she called.

Van didn't look toward the voice who called him, he just kept staring into the mirror. His unruly black hair seemed to be more unruly then it ever was. It pointed out at many odd angles and a small piece of it hung lazily over his right eye. The pink haired one entered the washroom and locked the door behind her. She stood looking at Van for some time, tears threatening to fall.

"Why do you do this Van?" she asked.

Van looked away from the mirror and slowly turned to face her his red-brown orbs dull and lifeless, "To escape.."

"Escape from what?!" she asked in a somewhat angered way.

"Reality." he said simply and turned away from her.

The pink haired girl held back a cry as she looked at him, "Van.." she called out.

He ignored her and began to amuse himself by rolling the needle back and forth across the counter. The girl couldn't take it anymore she ran to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Van stiffened at her touch and stopped playing with the needle.

"Van your going to kill yourself soon." she sobbed as she leaned her head on his back.

Van's eyes softened and he took his hand and placed it on her's, "Merle."

"I don't want to lose you..Folken is gone...Chesta...Gatti."

Van sighed at the names of his friends and brother who no one had brought up after the accident.

"I'm not going to die Merle," he said patting her hand, she continued to sob, "How did you know I was here?"

She cuddled into his back her tears wetting his white wife beater, "I just knew.."

A/N: R/R please I love your reviews they all make me smile! Lol..I'll update soon I promise! Cross my heart and hope to die! :P:P


	6. Past recollections

A/N: Yes an update they will all be updated eventually..so check backeth! 

Chapter 6-Past recollections

_"Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you loving you  
I won't let you pull me down.."_

_"I just knew.."_

Merle's words were the only thing on his mind all that day. Through out all his classes's he would pay less attention then usual. Hitomi continued to watch him all that day whenever she saw him. But Van hardly noticed. Her words had struck a place in his mind and heart. But he was hardly motivated to quit drugs that fast. Her words just made him think about things that he would have rather forgotten. Mainly his brother and two best friends.

_"I don't want to lose you..Folken is gone...Chesta...Gatti."_

They had died two years back all three of them one after the other. Folken was Van's mentor and most of all his best friend. It hurt him when his brother died., perhaps it hurt him the most. Both Gatti and Folken had died from an overdose. You would think Gatti would have been more careful after Folken had died. But Gatti was so far in he could have never saved himself. Chesta on the other hand was not stupid to overdose. He watched what he took..but even Chesta didn't watch enough. Aids were what killed Chesta. And Chesta suffered many a month before death came for him.

Van sat down on a park bench just outside there school, his demons from the past still clouding his mind. He allowed himself to think about his best friends but there was one part of his past that he never wanted to relive. He never wanted to think about..he just wanted to forget her. But he kept picturing her face..kept picturing the last moment of her life. It was all his fault she had died. Van shook his head to clear himself of the unwanted thoughts. He wouldn't allow it, he went a year without thinking about her.

"Hey Van."

_Van help me..please_

Van looked up and sighed at the site of Hitomi. Perhaps the last person he wanted to see today. Another demon to pester him. He acknowledged her presence with a simple nod. And yet Hitomi took it as an invitation to sit down. There was a good distance between the two of them, that Van rather welcomed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

He said nothing to her and began to busy himself with looking at his shoe.

_Van please there hurting me. Van.._

Van shook his head again and groaned loudly. Why was she bothering him now? He hadn't thought about her for over a year. Hitomi in turn sighed at Van's groan.

"Why wont you look at me?" she asked.

Van chuckled loudly and looked at his shoe for a moment longer before answering, "I'm afraid I'll do something drastic."

"Like what?" she inquired.

Van chuckled again but did not answer her, as time went on his shoe was becoming more interesting.

"James said he saw you go into the washroom.."

"Did he now?"

"Were you?"

"Yea what's it to you?" he said still looking down to his shoe.

"It's not my fault I care." she said in a distressed manner.

Van sighed again and finally looked up to Hitomi, he reached out to her and pulled her to him. Closing the gap between them. Hitomi stiffened in his arms but Van ignored her. He wrapped an arm around her and held her close. Hitomi relaxed some and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"This is nice." Hitomi mumbled.

"Yea." Van agreed smiling in a content manner.

_Van..Van...please_

But like all nice things in Van's life it would soon end abruptly.

"I'm going out with Allen."

And so it ends..

A/N: Updates will come sooon


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